


Outlooks

by SilkyinaBottle



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: M/M, chihiro is referred to as he btw, for want of nail, mentions of death/murder, what if au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 06:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1257109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilkyinaBottle/pseuds/SilkyinaBottle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When your greatest secret is on the line, what do you do to keep it safe? Or do you keep it safe at all?</p>
<p>In other words, what if Mondo didn't kill Chihiro in the boys' locker room?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Outlooks

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for: http://superhighschoollevelsmut.dreamwidth.org/2369.html?thread=1210433#cmt1210433
> 
> I always thought the way Mondo treated his involvement in Daiya's death was odd, considering the circumstances. He didn't directly kill Daiya, and yet he treats it as if he did.
> 
> But yeah I haven't written in forever and it's my first completed DR fic so if Mondo's waaay outta character MY BAD

“I want to change. I want to destroy that weak part of myself that always uses lies to escape...!”  
  
Mondo Oowada nearly throws up. No, this is not what he asked for, not what he wanted to hear, especially from someone like Fujisaki, who Mondo had considered to be the cutest girl he’d ever met in his life.  
  
Until, of course, he had learned that that girl was a boy, and that boy didn’t care if his big secret was revealed to the whole goddamn world because he (or she, or they— to hell if Mondo knows, but Fujisaki hasn’t corrected him yet) wanted to  _change_  and—  
  
Mondo cuts his train of thought off, giving his brain a moment to breathe (Fuck, brains aren’t supposed to breathe. Is he really so aggravated that his brain needs a second to  _inhale and exhale?_ ). For a second he doesn’t realize Fujisaki is still talking, but then he does and his ears lock onto the words faster than he can realize what a horrible idea listening is.  
  
“—you know? You’re so strong, Oowada-kun.”  
  
“Oowada-kun” is not strong. No, that’s not right. He’s very strong, strong enough to kill someone, another living, breathing creature and then stand aside and pretend it wasn’t his fault for nearly two years. He grits his teeth, keeping his eyes off of the kid who must be looking upon him with such  _false_  admiration…  
  
“I’m sure you’re going to be just fine, right?”  
  
“Oowada-kun” is not going to be fine. He’s a complete fuck-up who’s done a stupid thing and cannot handle the responsibility that comes with it. He recoils a little, taking a step away from the boy in girl’s clothing— the walking, talking secret.  
  
“No matter what secret Monobear is going to reveal.”  
  
Fujisaki has no idea. He doesn’t know what Mondo’s hiding, the weight of it, or just how strong the gang leader really  _is_. He takes another step back, and the back of his leg brushes against something. He turns around.  
  
It’s a bench, and on that bench is a dumbbell.  
  
“Are you saying…”   
  
At first Mondo doesn’t even realize he’s speaking, and the word are just exiting his mouth without warning.   
  
“You really want me to tell you?”   
  
He can feel the anger in the pit of his stomach, his shoulders hunched, sweat soaking his face.   
  
“Since I’m really strong…”  
  
He’s strong, strong,  _strongstrongstrong_  
  
“I should let you know my secret?”  
  
He does not look at Fujisaki, cannot look at Fujisaki. All he hears from him is a small, confused noise, and it’s sickening how the innocent can be so strong. Here’s Fujisaki, standing brave in the face of criticism and hatred and expecting everyone else to  _join him_. How dare he— this little  _brat_  has no idea what horrible things other people hide, to keep themselves  _safe_ , and yet he…!  
  
 _“Judging things based on your own standards is sheer stupidity.”_  
  
Togami’s words echo in his head, and if he wasn’t sick before, he certainly is now. He remembers Togami’s words in the library; the way Fujisaki put his foot down, choking back tears when Togami affronted him; the way Mondo himself had lost his temper in what was only a flawed attempt to make the programmer feel better; and he wants to vomit, associating himself with the likes of someone like that.  
  
His eyes flicker back to the dumbbell, and in his head the scene unfolds. Mondo knows that if he wants to kill someone, he has to act fast. Twenty-four hours isn’t a very long time, and he could very well kill Fujisaki now, keep his secret safe, and maybe get out of here alive in the process.  
  
And if he didn’t? He imagines the looks on everyone’s faces— Togami, slightly disgusted, but not surprised in the least bit; Asahina, eyes welling with tears; Ishimaru… oh fuck, he couldn’t do that to  _Ishimaru_ …  
  
And suddenly Mondo Oowada is at war with himself, standing stock still in the boys’ locker room, both arms limp at his sides. He doesn’t look at Fujisaki, cannot look at Fujisaki, not when he’s trying to decide whether or not he should kill him.  
  
But then Fujisaki has to speak and fuck everything up. “O-Oowada-kun…?”  
  
And the concern in his voice is clear and real and  _there_ , and Mondo knows in an instant that he can’t kill someone who cares for him so much. So he’ll wait. Maybe he’ll get a chance to kill someone tomorrow, before Night Time hits and that goddamn bear goes out and tells everyone what he’s done…  
  
But if he kills someone, then what? He goes out into the world knowing he’s been responsible for the death of everyone here? Having to hide not only the death of his brother, but the death of everyone else…  
  
Shit, that’s not what he wants at all.  
  
“Oowada-kun? I-If you really don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. I just thought…”  
  
And now Mondo hates himself, for making Fujisaki sad, for thinking about killing him, for thinking he could kill everyone. His shoulders hunch again, but now he’s shaking, and all he can think about is how awful he is, that would be eleven people  _dead_  because of him.  
  
There’s the sound of a white shoe scuffing across the floor, and Mondo finally meets Fujisaki’s eyes. Those eyes, filled with worry and fear and trust…  
  
Those eyes break him, and for the first time in nearly two years, Mondo Oowada is crying.  
  
At first it’s just a few tears brimming at the corners of his eyes, but when Fujisaki’s eyes widen (“Oowada-kun, what’s wrong?”), those tears start to roll down his cheeks, and within seconds he’s a sniffling, blubbering, sobbing mess.  
  
Until two little arms wrap their way around his midsection, and while the tears certainly don't stop, they subside a little in the gust of Mondo's surprise. He looks down, once again staring into worried hazel eyes (and yet, behind the worry, there was some kind of determination that Mondo couldn't quite pinpoint). "Fujisaki, what're you—"  
  
"My father always told me people bully others because they're weak. ...Weaker than me, even." He presses his forehead against Mondo's chest, so Mondo can hardly hear him when he says, "I never believed him." There's a hesitation, and then Fujisaki's staring up at him with teary eyes to match Mondo's own. "Is that... true? N-not that I ever thought of you as a bully, it's just... you're a gang leader, aren't you? Is that why... you fight, Oowada-kun? To prove you're stronger, when really..."  
  
 _"...you're not?"_  Those unspoken words linger in the air, and the  _normal_  Mondo Oowada would have been enraged; would have grabbed the dumbbell from the bench and bashed Fujisaki's head in. But something's gone screwy in Mondo's writing, and he's starting to suspect that Chihiro Fujisaki knows how to program more than just computers. So while Mondo doesn't answer the question, he also doesn't kill Fujisaki with a dumbbell, and he's pretty sure that marks some progress.  
  
"E-even if you can't tell me your secret, I'll still stay by you anyways. I need your help, after all. I still need to become stronger..."  
  
Mondo wants to tell him that he's  _not_  weak, that he's a lot stronger than Mondo himself could ever be, but that would mean swallowing the last shred of his pride, and he's not sure if he's ready to do that. Besides, even if he wanted to, he's sure the words would get caught in his throat and come out hoarse and shaky. For now, he supposes it's better not to embarrass himself any further.  
  
But sometimes, in the midst of an emotional moment, things slip. You can confess your love to someone in the middle of a heated argument, or say something that makes someone angry when you get too excited. So with Fujisaki's cheek against his chest, and the feeling of Fujisaki's chest swelling forwards and back in time with his breath grazing Mondo's forearm, something slips.  
  
"I-I killed my brother..."  
  
Mondo expects Fujisaki to break away, to stare in shock before recoiling and bolting out of the boys' locker room. But that doesn't happen. Instead, Fujisaki freezes, gripping Mondo's jacket tightly, before slowly getting go and leaning back to look at Mondo, hands still firmly placed on either side of his waist.  
  
"I..."  
  
He waits for it— the impending fear, the sound of footsteps leaving the dressing room.  
  
"I can see why you wouldn't want anyone to know about that..."  
  
Mondo's tears are gone now, or at least momentarily forgotten, because now he's yelling at Fujisaki, "How...— how can you take this so  _calmly_?! I— I  _killed_  someone! It's my fault someone is dead! And it's...," he voices catches in his throat (dammit, he  _knew_  this would happen), "it was my own _brother_... So why aren't you afraid of me?!"  
  
"B-because... you didn't  _mean_  to, did you?"  
  
The tears welling in Mondo's eyes slide down his cheeks once more. "I... H-how did..."  
  
"There's... there's no way someone could kill another person on purpose and still feel so upset about it after so much time! Not if they hated that person, or if they knew it was for the best..."  
  
Anything Mondo was about to say shriveled up and died in his throat. He'd... never actually thought of it like that. He had never once, in all of his time of denial, thought about just how unintentional Daiya's death had been. It had always been, "I killed him," never "he's dead because of something I did." That kind of outlook... it wouldn't make things much easier when facing his gang, but maybe...  
  
Fujisaki catches his eye again, giving him a small, hopeful smile. "I'm sure... wherever he is, he forgives you..."  
  
...Maybe he'd be able to face the others and tell them the truth himself.  
  
So Mondo allows himself a small smile. For now, at least.


End file.
